22. LIVING WITHIN MEANS

Greetings Friends,
In reduced financial circumstances, it's often necessary to forgo activities we have taken for granted. For instance, retail therapy or therapeutic shopping, playing golf, bowling, going out dancing or partying.
These things may not be financially wise or even possible during these troubled times of un-employment, under employment and lack of income.
The challenge to compensate for lack of money can be fun if you are willing to be resourceful.
Job hunting is seldom thought to be fun, but try to make a game of it.
Set a goal to apply for a certain number of jobs each day. Most companies accept applications on-line rather than on paper these days, with a few exceptions here and there. Some of the apps are quite a challenge. If you have trouble with the app, ask yourself why and then address the challenges by trying these tricks which once put in place can be re-used over and over again:

>1. Make a list of all the jobs you have had.
>2.Within each job, list the tasks you performed in two columns:

• A. Things you did well and enjoyed doing, and
• B. Things you did not like, or did not do well at and hope to never do again.

Now, take the items listed in A. and list other types of jobs that would profit from those skills and experience.

Do web searches for types of companies using those talents.
Do not feel compelled to stick to things like monster . com or career builder . com.
Visit web sites of companies that interest you and scroll to the bottom of the pages until you find the little links for 'contact us' or 'human resources' or 'work for us' and determine what their application process is and follow it.

Do you have a resume?
Do you only have one resume?
Is it dusty?

As many changes as there have been over the years in the way resumes are accepted and the reasons they are discarded without a second, or even a first look, means that more than ever, you need multiple resumes in your file.

First and foremost, turn your list into a worksheet you can use to develop various formats of resumes without repeating the research process of looking up your old job info in files, boxes, memory or make-believe.

You will want to have two basic types of resume and you will want to tailor each type to emphasize different strengths for different companies' needs and desires.

Chronological is necessary, but can be tough if you have blank spaces and no good explanation, or if you have so many jobs in your past that it either emphasizes your age as being o-l-d, or perhaps worse; that you are a job-hopper.
Chronological often works well for younger people or people with only about five or six past jobs.
Otherwise, go back only about ten to twelve years.

Functional is very useful and is more easily adapted to assorted varieties of jobs.
Rather than listing your employment history, you list your skills, talents, and achievements. Here is an example of a functional resume that has recently proved useful for me:
Name and contact information go at the top of course.
..........................................................................................................

OBJECTIVE: 

Administrative Support in areas of Editorial, Copy Editing or Proof reading

EXPERIENCE:

n     Edited manuscripts for doctors’ in preparation for publishing or presentation.

n     Edited material for publication and assisted with layout.

n     Recycling coordinator.

n     Organized and arranged professional documents and research materials.

n     Developed and input reference material into a user-friendly database.

n     Worked with programmers to devise unique database for recording reference material.

n     Data entry of customer and product information and research.

n     Exceeded goals for customer service and membership goals.

n     Created marketing materials for client companies.

n     Noted for merchandising creativity.

n     Conducted research for clients.

n     Conducted investigations into potential insurance fraud cases.

n     Conducted interviews and wrote news articles for daily publication.

n     Transcribed professional client records for client doctors offices.

  

EDUCATION:

Drake University                                                        Des Moines, IA

n     BA, Biological Ecology and Journalism – Scientific Writing

OUTSIDE INTERESTS:

Volunteer work, shamanic studies, freelance writing and editing, developing and maintaining private research library.    

....................................................................................................

That was plenty of information to peak the interest of the interviewer and I had to be prepared to answer questions about specific companies and provide a few references for verification. sadly, in my case, several of the businesses I once worked with are now closed and several of the employers dead or otherwise whereabouts unknown. (not my fault)
Anyway, take a look at yourself honestly. Do not fabricate a pile of unsupportable b.s., but also do not let your current jobless status get you down and damage your confidence.
Remember, the universe is vast and has ample opportunity for every one of us. Be friendly, open and kind, but use careful discernment and keep on praying. Not asking so much as affirming. And visualize yourself enjoying a brand new fun or fulfilling job and ample comfort and ample supply. Life is still good!

vkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkvkv
Small Pleasures for Small Budgets
Remember some of the wonderful simple things that brought us pleasure as small children?
Bazooka Joe or Double Bubble gum, penny candy, going to the playground at the park where the swings were really decent swings and you could go really high, climbing a tree, Trixie Belden or Hardy Boys mystery books, catching fireflies in a jar on a moonlit June night, sitting on the porch glider with Grandma, listening to stories whether they were fairy tales or recollections of the old days, putting the ace of spades or queen of hearts in the spokes of your Schwinn to make that whirring sound, coasting down hill with the wind in your face and whipping your hair, playing the juke box at the cafe or pool hall, orange pop or strawberry, root beer floats. I could go on anad on...
but here is one that nearly all of us can afford once in a while: why spend three or four dollars on big packs of contemporary gum filled with fake sweeteners, when you can still get..........
CHICKLETS! Remember them well!
Those little white rectangles of flavor are still as much fun as ever and still the best buy in the ever-expanding world of gum. I found some locally, but get a better deal when I follow this link and just get a few packs at a time. Enjoy a mouthful of Chicklets and sit and reminisce about your favorite memories, or even make that list of happy job experiences for your new resume!

21. DIRT, SEEDS AND HOPE

On Monday, I stopped at Home Depot and visited the Garden Center.

I bought a bag of dirt.

It cost ten dollars and fifty-seven cents.

I don’t have an extra ten bucks just now, but I bought it anyway. I took the money off my debit card even though the money was already allocated and scheduled to electronically  pay storage, insurance and cell phone fees to pretty much within the penny.

Why the heck did I buy a bag of dirt?

I need make-up, a pair or two of pants that fit since I’ve lost weight, liners for my dogs’ belly bands, my prescription and some dish soap.

So why dirt?

I have seeds.

Florida soil (sugar sand) and I have never really come to terms with each other. From deep, rich Iowa’s top soil, where gardening was a given, it’s a whole other type of activity here on the peninsula.

I’ve seen a few articles about how you can grow vegetables in a bag of dirt, by simply cutting holes in the bag and putting in the plants or seeds.

So, that is exactly why I bought a bag of dirt..

Yesterday, I did it. I laid the bag flat, near the back door and the garden hose, cut some slits in it and poked my knife a few times into the ‘bottom’ for drainage. Into the slits on ‘top’ I placed seeds for orange bell pepper, broccoli, radicchio, bib lettuce, and baby watermelon. And a bonus for the cats we live with, some wheat grass.

And then I sprinkled it.

It’s been windy, and drying so I will sprinkle some today again.

My seeds, which are from Whole Foods, are organic, so I bought the Miracle Grow Organic soil in the beige bag.

Why all this trouble?

Since moving back to Florida, I have become uber-conscious of the financial cost of every food I put in my mouth. The seeds, all being vegetables, are allowed on the Access system, and since they are organic, I figured they deserve the best soil I can offer them.

I cannot grow chocolate or steak or chicken or rice or flour, but hey! Maybe I can supplement my meager food allowance by growing some of my own vitamins in the Florida sun.

If this works reasonably well, perhaps I could buy another bag of dirt for some peas, beans and potatoes… then another for strawberries… and another for herbs… well, my Gemini tendency is to get carried away, so I will, for now, focus on this one bag of dirt and see how it goes.

Hopefully, I will have vegetative news to share in future postings.

When I establish a new income, my intention is to be a conservative steward of my resources. Grandma tried to teach me that back in the 1950’s and 1960’s, and egotistically, I thought I had it down. Apparently I missed something, or would be in less of a pickle now.

But here’s a cool thing: My dearest friend in all the world found a way to save me about twelve dollars a month on my cell phone bill, and I received a very upsetting email from my car insurance saying my new customer discount had expired and my monthly bill was going from 81 to 94 and change. I steamed and fretted, and then placed a call. With a few simple adjustments to coverage, I got the bill down to 75 bucks a month and those two savings (insurance and cell) more than cover the cost of my seemingly frivolous dirt expenditure. All is in Divine and Perfect Order, though we often do not know how to realize it. Sometimes its big and sometimes its small, but somehow, its always there.

Blessed Be

Victoria Lea

# 20. Oh Bother!

Yes, as Winnie the Pooh often said when things went wrong in unexpected ways, Oh Bother indeed.
On October 19th, a Friday, The general manager quizzed me about my health condition, not liking the way I moved, that I sometimes used a cane, and that I had fallen over one day at the cash register. He told me to finish out the day but do not come back until I have a letter from a doctor proving that I am fully able to perform all the tasks required, not just standing at the register, but climbing fifteen foot ladders, passing 25 pound boxes over my head repeatedly to someone above me and carrying large boxes without harming myself or others.
So, between the telemarketing job that paid under the counter with no deductions, the three months at the library and the 6 weeks at the retail store, I still have not worked enough here in Florida to qualify for Unemployment Compensation.
Well, I already have a doctor's appointment for November 19th, and cannot get anything sooner. And so, at the very least, I must go without income for another month. Doctors are not in the budget. (What budget? The one that is pretty much non-existent.) So it's a county doctor at the DFC clinic and it will still cost $42.
I sincerely doubt that I will come away with the letter that general manager wants to see.
So I continue to beef up my efforts to find another job.
Hopefully, I will stay out of retail. I have done well in that field, but I think it is no longer the right place for me. My county case worker insists I should find something more sedentary, with less physical demands. I agree. I also need to be able to move around a lot and not just sit continually.
I want to do one of those work from home Internet link posting things, but:
A. I don't have the $97 to invest in it and
B. I'm always paranoid about scams.
My writing is devouring much of my time.
My novel is complete, except I keep tweaking it and have added a couple of additional chapters at the end. I'm trying to decide if they are anti-climactic or if they are essential for closure. Perhaps they lead to a sequel. Oh Bother! Let's not count our chicks before they have hatched!
Also another short story has all the makings of another book, this time a genre plot with a more limited demographic. I shan't go into it here.
It seems that the available jobs for writers are for technical writers. There we go again! When will people realize that technology will not last forever. Let's get down to basics again folks!

I'd like to do some tutoring. Pet sitting is not a steady income, but I'm willing to do it locally, as long as it pays for the gas and my time. There are a lot of things I can do and love to do, but how do I get paid for doing them? That's the BIG question!

Anyway, here at 'home' I continue to occupy the guest room with my two dogs, Cooper and Munchie, and when I am out, they generally hang out in the dining room after I oust the cats.
Between my bathroom and bedroom, I do my cooking and washing up, although, if I let the dishes go too long, I take a dishpanful of them down to the laundry room when everyone is away, and do the washing up there in the big stainless sink.
I plan to begin making my own bread again, but keep forgetting to buy yeast. My favorite hypoallergenic bread is no longer available, so I'd better make a go of it myself.
I certainly miss using a gas stove. The one downstairs is off limits to me for the most part, but when everyone is gone, I will occasionally do up a big batch of something and freeze it in meal-size portions.

Here's a money-saving tip: If you need to stretch a can of dog food an extra day, instead of giving it to them straight, use it as a spread and make them sandwiches on toast. They find it very satisfying. Magickly, in their eyes, you have turned mere dog food into people food! Also good for picky eaters, and you can sprinkle in a dash of Parmesan cheese and they think they're at a fancy restaurant.

I will try to return to my regular weekly posting schedule. Again, I apologize for being out of touch so long. Sometimes the situation can get a person down to the point where they don't even feel like talking about it. However, I have taken on this project and admit it is nice to vent, share, and possibly share an inspiration from time to time.

I hope you will keep reading and supporting my blogging efforts by visiting the linkages and making regular visits to this site as well as my other blogs too. I hope to be posting to them again soon too.
Thank you and bless you for you continuing support.
Victoria

18. AH YES, RETAIL

This new retail job is in a pleasant environment with a few cheerful people and others who seem fairly easy to ignore. What cannot be ignored though, is the constant eight hours of standing, with almost no moving about.
When I worked in other retail establishments, I was usually all over the store, working on displays, fixing things, cleaning, helping customers. In this new job, it is constant standing and it is more painful than any prior job.
Feet can scream. Did you know that? It is not audible to others, but to the owner of the screaming feet, there is little else that can be heard once those feet begin to scream their agony.
In a store that sells, among thousands of other very fascinating items, some wonderful rugs and mats that cushion the feet, one would think that such could be provided for the standing clerk, in the two locations where said employee is required to stand.
Location #1 has a thin rubber mat such as one would use to prevent slipping, and location #2 is nothing but hard, hard flooring.
I am told this will go on indefinitely and perhaps permanently. At a maximum of thirty hours a week with no benefits, the good news is, its only thirty hours. The bad news is it takes the rest of the week to heal from the pain and orthopedic distress from the constant standing, it is only thirty hours, and no benefits, so other work is required in order to survive, but the exhaustion from the standing leaves me so drained it is highly difficult to accomplish anything in the off hours.
Nevertheless, I am grateful (very much so) to have found this little job. It will help me to survive, even though it will not allow me to pay off any debts, at least I should be able to pay the storage, cell phone, and car insurance bills and buy some food, dog food and gas. It is time to change the oil and I guess I have to shop around for it rather than going to my favorite dealership for full service.
And so, I add that to my list of things to search for: solutions, auto service, different job, affordable chiropractic and physical care,, new glasses, a dentist, and again, let me stress: SOLUTIONS. They exist. They are not lost, but perhaps I am.
Blessings and solutions to all
Victoria

19. SEEKING MOTIVATION AND PURPOSE

Friends:
I wrote this posting on October 15th and forgot to hit 'post' so I apologize for the delay.

There is nothing in this world more powerful than our Creator. The universe was set to spin and the clockwork of the galaxies put in place to a symphony more majestic than our mortal senses can comprehend.
What does that have to do with being un- or under-employed?
My friends and I often remind ourselves that 'all is in divine and perfect order.'
We look for the silver linings in our difficulties, trials and tribulations. Sometimes we find them, and sometimes they are yet to be discovered. I awoke this morning with a distinct paraphrase of a  familiar Bible passage that has always offered me some encouragement. See Romans 8: 35-39

What shall separate us from the love and care of our blessed Creator? Neither governments, nor bureaucracies, nor corporations, nor banks,  nor politicians, nor collection agencies, nor stupid rules, nor pain, nor loss, nor sorrow,  nor war, nor grumpiness, nor employers, nor police, nor loss, nor gain,  nor marriage, nor divorce, nor economic systems, nor success, nor failure, nor any other thing shall be able to remove us from God's loving care. We are more than conquerors through the love of God.

It's true. And there is a tremendous difference between POWER and FORCE. Power is self-generating. Force requires input of energy or fuel.
Great Spirit is All-Powerful, and is the source of all power.

Am I totally off track here?
What I'm attempting to do is to keep myself going. The temptation to give up is strong. I could apply for disability and receive a subsistence check each month I suppose. The pain I endure in jobs that require me to stand for a full day's shift makes giving up sound more and more appealing.
Motivation is a continuing problem. Based in acedia and fear, lack of motivation holds me back from stepping out and doing anything different.
Age
Lack of modern technological skills and understanding
Disinterest in technology
These are the primary things that force me to remain in retail, and yet health is one of the main factors why I need to find something else. Very poor wages is the other thing.
What I need to be doing is what I was put here for.
What is that?
Not certain, but I know it probably requires another degree or some certification.
I love writing but have no grasp on how to make money writing these days. When I was a newspaper reporter, perhaps I should have stayed in the field. (Maybe Dad was right...shudder...) Maybe Grandma was right and I should have gotten my teaching certification. Being an ordained minister isn't really enough, even with my own ministry (Universal Brotherhood of All Life Ministry) for I should be connected to a church with some structure to it, such as Unity perhaps; one that actually pays the pastor for services rendered.

So my To-Do list for today looks like this:
1. return 3 food items to grocery store so I can buy some dog food
2. go to bank to see personal banker to see if she can remove overdraft fees
3. take laptop to Office Depot to print a couple of resumes and make a couple of copies of important documents
4. go to storage unit to see if I can find a few things I need which I have not been able to find in there so far
5. shake a couple of dollars out of a piggy bank to get a few ounces of gasoline

Until the next posting,
Be Well,
Victoria

17. OFF TOPIC BUT I THINK ITS IMPORTANT (short)

I have always been fascinated by Nickolai Tesla, and often wonder what the world would be like today if he had been a bit more assertive and had not been so screwed over by Ths. Edison and others who were motivated by greed. He was a man of many miracles and  I think, genuinely nice.
If he were alive today, I would like to work for him as archivist/secretary/assistant.

I like that this amazing cartoonist has taken up this cause. TESLA

http://theoatmeal.com/blog/tesla_museum

And then, Alex Knapp of Forbes, wrote an article trashing The Oatmeal's adulation of the under-rated inventor, and this plus The Oatmeal's rebuttal can be found at this next link.

http://theoatmeal.com/blog/tesla_response

May you be blessed
Victoria

16. BAND-AIDS Versus SOLUTIONS

Losing that university job set me back further than I was before I took the job. It did not last long enough for me to qualify for unemployment insurance, and the few dollars I had set aside for auto maintenance and a couple of upcoming quarterly and annual payments got eaten away in the first couple of weeks what with groceries and gas, dog food and the monthly bills that I actually pay to stay alive.
I am willing to sell a bunch of stuff, but so far the only thing that has sold is my chopper and that, for mere pennies on the dollar. And then, last week, I sold my wedding rings. But apparently, no one is buying diamonds at this time. Let me tell you this: selling gold can be a huge disappointment. Maybe you already know that the price shown in the media only applies to 24k or bullion. 18k and 14k command much, much smaller prices.
Converting possessions to cash in this marketplace is a sad thing to do for the seller. In the current economy, something valued at a hundred dollars would do well to sell for ten. Sure would be great for those with the cash and the desire to shop for bargains.
And so, I have had to revert to borrowing a small amount of money to hopefully 'get me by' until this new job gives me a pay check. Kind of like our government borrowing from China until April 15 when taxes flow in from the serfs, er, I mean citizens. And then, as exorbitant as the taxes are, they do little if anything to counteract the borrowing. Because borrowing money is a downhill spiral.
Borrowing and selling and working at part time jobs are all merely band-aids. So beyond and above plastering band-aids on the problems, I seek solutions. Solutions to the financial crisis for the country are beyond my current comprehension, even if certain ideas occur to me once in a while.
Solutions for myself, once I find them, I would hope could be models for others in similar circumstances.

Curtailing spending: I wish I had had sense enough to cut back on spending years ago. I spent based upon the legal promise of a substantial influx. That has not come to fruition, and is a serious problem that I must overlook for the time being. Even if that had happened in a timely manner, I would not have had sense enough to be conservative with it. When it does eventually manifest, I will hopefully have learned enough to hang on to it. And I wish that a solution to this issue would simply fall into my lap. Well, you know what that means: if wishes were horses, I'd have a horse.
Banking on the future and borrowing money is stupid. And I have really learned that the hard way. Investing is the same as gambling. If you 'do it right' you might 'get lucky.'  The Simple Dollar
I'm beginning to think that boiling life down to the basic necessities and becoming self-sufficient is the most secure way to live. The various 'frugal living' books and web sites offer a great deal of information on ways to go about this. Still, even with spending at a bare minimum, there are costs that require cash outlay: transportation, food (even if you garden) shelter and some form of utilities. And everyone needs to have clothing. Even if you are a nudist, you have to wear something if you go somewhere where clothing is mandatory, which is nearly everywhere.
So, the solutions I seek are still behind the veil, just out of reach, but I will explore them in upcoming postings.

15. How Politics Affects the Un- and Under- Employed

Nebulous thoughts swirling around the fringes of my mind this evening. They want to come together to form a message. This is something I have been pondering off and on for a while now. Bear with me here, because you will see toward the end that it is significant to the blog's purpose. As someone who has been under-employed with disturbing spurts of unemployment punctuating my calendar, I really have some troubling reassessments to make. I once considered myself to be a Republican. Now I see that Republicans are not at all what I thought they were supposed to be. In fact, I see that our two-party system is not what it is cracked up to be. My staunch GOP contacts (friends and relatives) God Love them one and all, do not share most of my basic beliefs. The Grand Old Party has somehow become full of bigotted fundamentalists who think their way is the only way and demand that their beliefs be embraced by and enforced upon everyone else. How is this different from the Democratic Party? It isn't, except that their issues are different issues. The issues of each party are insignificant to the health and well-being of this nation So here is an excerpt from an email I have received multiple times. There are parts of the thing that make great sense. I have not included them here. This is only that to which I vociferously disagree. And after you read this, I will explain why I disagree. ===============================================

1. You know you live in a country run by idiots if: Hard work and success are rewarded by higher taxes and government intrusion, while slothful, lazy behavior is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid and subsidized housing, and free cell phones. ================================================= 2. You know you live in a country run by idiots if: The government's plan for getting people back to work is to provide 99 weeks of unemployment checks (to not work). ================================================= 3. You know you live in a country run by idiots if: You pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor defaults on his mortgage (while buying iphones, TV's and new cars) and the government forgives his debt and reduces his mortgage (with your tax dollars).

******************************************** (1.) Yes, it is true that hard work and success seems to be followed by higher taxes and more and more government regulation. And that is wrong. And yes, it is true that there are thousands of people who play the system and take advantage of government handouts. But what this fails to address is the fact that in this economy, there are thousands of hard-working Americans who have paid into the system for years and years, but now find themselves out of work and unable to find work. These are the people the system was designed to help. But many of us slip through loopholes and get no aid at all. (2.) Again, their are people who play the system, but then there are those of us who do not qualify for unemployment because we moved to a different state and have not worked six months in the new state so do not qualify. We get nothing. (3.) And there are those who set out to get fancy houses filled with fancy stuff and have actually been able to get Uncle Obama to foot the bill. But then there are those of us who, regardless of our good intentions and efforts to make it all work, lost the ability to pay and none of the government programs fit the situation. Some of us lose our homes because we were convinced that it would work into our financial situation easily, when, in fact, the numbers just didn't add up and the bill of goods we were sold with the house was just a house of cards. Bang goes the gavel. FORECLOSED! It does not pay to be naive or well-meaning. It pays to find good financial advice, listen to it, and then fall back and be even more conservative with your funds. A house is NOT an investment. The Bubble was as fragile and nebulous as any bubble of soap. They all pop sooner or later. And if you are not a minority of some kind, do not expect the government to be of any use to you at all, regardless of how many thousands of dollars in taxes you have paid down through the years. So, because the GOP fundamentalists make no allowances for honest people with legitimate financial crises, but lump them all together with the chronic entitlement-minded recipients, I have no truck with the GOP. They also tend to be the ones who want to cram their particular religious beliefs down everyones' throats, much like the Islamic fundamentalists do. They want to legislate their idea of morality, continue interfering in the governments of other countries, fight so-called wars on drugs, tobacco, diseases, behaviors and lifestyles that are not their own. On the other hand, we have the Democrats, whom we can fondly refer to as the BHL, or Bleeding Heart Liberals. They want to give it all away. Usually to those who have done nothing to earn it. To many who have no desire to learn the language, to fit in, or to contribute in some significant way. As a rule, they want everyone to be careful to not offend anyone else. They are the dark-hearted offspring of Madelyn Murray O'Hare set out to remove any mention of God in our culture, simply because she was an atheist. She thought everyone should be so she would not be offended by the Word. The birth of so-called 'political correctness' is founded in this effort, and has become a virulent rust, eating away at the strong girders underpinning the structure of this nation. It's oxymoronic. To remove anything about God because she is an athiest, is the same as to force a particular religion on everyone. She forced non-religion. The Founding documents specified that Congress shall make no law specifyong a particular form of worship. It stipulated a separation of church and state, not a removal of one or the other. Just a separation. That underscores that there shall be no 'State Religion' not that there should be no religion. The United States was founded on the principal that there would be religious FREEDOM... the freedom to worship how, when and where (or even if) one wanted to. And so, I must discard both parties, because each one is doing fundamental damage to this country. I seek a moderate way. Conservative and strong support of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and the principles laid out in Thomas Paine's Common Sense. If you have not read them recently, please do so. And while you're at it, read the Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. 'Tis a cautionary tale, if ever there was one. And so, I will continue at this little part time job as long as it lasts and as I continue to find additional sources of income. Blessings of Abundance to all of you Victoria

14. I FORGIVE

This is my public announcement that I forgive those who have wronged me. I forgive those who have stolen from me. I forgive those who have cheated me. It is my intention to forgive them all daily, until I feel deep in my heart, that I have fully let go of any and all negative feelings of hurt and blame, no matter how deeply embedded those feelings seem to be. I shall name no one specifically here for I do not wish to defame anyone nor attach blame deeper than I already have.

I forgive members of my family. I forgive teachers and students. I forgive those who use and abuse. I forgive those who are misguided. I forgive those who have withheld their attention and love. I forgive those who blame and judge. I forgive those who have been faithless and abandoned me. I forgive the individuals who have stolen and cheated me in business and personal transactions. I forgive those who have taught me lies as truth. And most of all, I forgive myself for being judgemental and unforgiving. And I forgive myself for holding on to things that do not serve my higher purpose, for not always doing my best and for withholding love and kindness when I could have offered it. And I forgive myself for the wrongs that I have done myself and others. I forgive my naivete, my short sightedness and my carelessness. I forgive my poor stewardship and any acts of omission or comission that I may not be conscious of. I pray for guidance to be fully aware of my thoughts, speech and action so that I do not fall prey to these mistakes any further. It is my great desire to become all that I can be and to lift others up and inspire others as well, for we are all in this together. We are all one in One. So Mote It Be Victoria

13. IS IT TOO LITTLE TOO LATE?

So yesterday, I put in a full day's work, in training and orientation at the new retail job. It looks as though I may get as many as three days of work per week. However, My first check will be in three weeks and it will only be for one day of pay. In the mean time, the dogs and I are running out of food. I have less than a half tank of gas, and three payments will be taken from my account on October first, totaling $325 and I only have $173 in my account. I sold my wedding rings the other day and stuffed that cash directly in the account. I tried to sell the diamond too, but someone tried to cheat me out of it today telling me it's not a real diamond when I have papers in my hand from appraisers telling me it is indeed a very good diamond. I have more books to sell too, but am not sure where to take them to find a buyer. Also, some other loose gem stones. I appreciate my readers, but really wish they could spare me a couple of moments each week to take a look at the vendors that support my postings so that I could get some funding through this venue. I would also appreciate suggestions on additional postings on this and my other blogs as well. I plan on inputting a few more book reviews quite soon. I realized I have not yet reviewed all the wonderful things I'd love to share with those of you who enjoy reading. Back to the new job. It's a big store and the vast and varied inventory is pretty intimidating, when I am told I have to learn all the features of each item. I am also told that there are a number of high-roller customers that spend as much as 10 to 25 thousand dollars at a time in this store, which is located in a pretty swanky area of northern Fort Lauderdale, just two miles inland and surrounded by some other fine establishments that attract people who still have money to spend and spend it freely. So anyway, my $173 in the bank will cover my insurance payment and my amex bill but what of my storage fee? I am trying, bit by bit to eliminate some of the things that I really don't need to keep (even though I already eliminated hundreds of things before returning to Florida.) The problem is that each time I go there, I can only do so much because many of the things that are stacked up making it impossible to get to other things, are too heavy for me to even budge. Once I am able to cut my volume of stuff by about fifty percent, I should be able to get a much smaller unit and save some money that way. But if I could use the garage here at the house, as I was told I could do, I could save all that money and wind up saving some to get a small place of my own, as well as pay old bills that are sitting in a corner collecting more and more interest and penalty fees.

So I would like comments from others who may have job and money difficulties too, and maybe from some who have found solutions... I hold fast to my strong belief that the Universe is full of plenty of provision for everyone to have all they need every moment. I hereby go on public record: I open my mind and heart to receive all the blessings that Great Spirit bestows upon me and to witness that beneficence throughout creation. As I breathe in deeply, I accept all good. As I exhale, I release all that no longer serves. I know that no matter how dim the mortal picture may appear, the bright white light of Great Spirit continues to shine. All is in Divine and Perfect order. All is well. In gratitude for all blessings, and with love and praise to our Creator, So Mote It Be. Victoria

12. A LITTLE WORK

Time has slipped by. I have gone almost nowhere since the last post, in order to save gas. Tomorrow morning I go in at 9AM for orientation. This is the little parttime job at the big retail store I mentioned before. This means I will get a schedule, put in a full eight hours, and begin to look forward to a meagre check in about three weeks' time. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping to stay in the bank account black until then. I don't seem to have any wealthy friends or relatives I could borrow a hundred bucks from to tide me over until then. How fondly I look back on the days when I operated the 'Bank of Vic' and was blessed to be able to make small loans to friends and family. There will come a time once more, when my generosity can be expressed again, as well as offering a helping hand to others in positions such as this. In the mean time, I am taking unabashed advantage of any freebies I come across. It is too far to drive to the Meals on Wheels program right now when I have no extra driving money. For the price of the gallon of gas it would take to get there and back, I could walk to BK and get a Jr. Whopper and fries. The on-line job search through the WorkForce One program is not working out well due to technical difficulties. Due to the gasoline situation, I have not been back to their office to participate in any of the networking opportunities. That will have to wait until the little parttime job gets me some gas money. All of these little issues are challenges to test my abilities at good stewardship. Temptations continue to abound, and determining which, if any I can allow myself to succumb to is the big decsion on a daily basis. Remembering each day, if only for a few moments, that our Universe is infinite and filled with infinite blessings for all is a task, a duty, and a healing release. Good abounds. Availing ourselves of all that Great Spirit provides is only a challenge because we forget how powerful our thoughts and words are. How many of our thoughts each day are spent on negativity? Impatience affirms belief in limitation. Anger affirms a lack of harmony. Whining affirms a sense of vicitmization. If you look to the right hand side of this page, you will see that I have placed St. Francis' Prayer for Peace in the margin. This is a good reminder of some of the things which we are able to do to lighten the load for ourselves as we do so for others. Living a life of prayer, so long as it is prayer of positive blessing and affirmation leads to manifestation of good. It really does work. Sometimes there seems to be a big pile of stuff keeping us from our task of manifesting good for ourselves and others, doesn't there? I guess its a little like yard work or housecleaning. We might not think its a lot of fun, and there are always other things to do instead, but once we do it, we feel so much better, and so does everyone around us.

11. A COUPLE OF INTERESTING DEVELOPMENTS

Well these past several days have been a bit of a whirl wind of activity. I received a call from my neighbor just as I was leaving the house on Monday, heading for my photo shoot. She told me that a place called __ ___store dealing in crafts and household goods had posted a large sign on their window saying they were hiring. And so, I packed up piles of recommended stuff for my photo shoot, and got there just in time. What a facinating and enjoyable experience I had! After organizing my stuff, which consisted of five clothing and prop changes, plus four extras just in case the photographer disapproved of one of the others, the make-up artist was ready for me. As I watched her work, I learned a great deal about make-up that I had either not known or had forgotten. Bottom line: make-up feels icky, but it can really make your eyes more vivid! She explained though that she was applying a great deal more than anyone would normally wear, simply for the sake of the camera. The photo shoot was great. I was so grateful that my BFF had shown me poses that might be required and made me practice the night before. I thought the poses I learned when I was eighteen, for the Miss America subsidiary pagaent would be sufficient. I was mistaken. So much more was required, acrobatically speaking. We Skyped my other outfits so that I could get her professional input. Also, my dear sweet friend, who is in similar financial straits as I, insisted upon buying me an outfit for the shoot. I am so grateful. It was a hit with the photographer, looked great in the mirror, and I look forward to seeing all of the proofs on Friday morning. So after the photo shoot, I stopped by that store I was told of to see about their application process. As is typical these days, you ask for an application, and they give you a web address. As I was looking over the store to see if it would be a fun place to work (it would be), my phone rang. It was a company I had applied to some time back. They asked me to come in on Wednesday. I did, and was told to show up for orientation in eight days. This will only be a little parttime job, but it is with a good company and is less than ten miles away. It will keep things spinning until the real deal comes along, and I will still have plenty of time to pursue additional job hunting activities and to keep writing. Let's see how all this goes. Tomorrow is Friday, and I'm sort of holding my breath about those proofs. I've never been comfortable on the front end of a camera... But what the heck, if I didn't do this, I would always wonder if I'd missed something.

10. TODAY'S JOB MARKET

Okay, I am sixty-one years old. Not ancient, but not a youngster either. As most of the rest of you in my readership, I did not grow up with anything more technical than a clunk-style TV with four to six channels and a rotary dial phone. That was it! And BTW, the telephone belonged to the phone company and the bill my folks paid included a few cents a month for rent on the device. I can still hear the sound it made as you dialed a number. Can't describe it, but I remember what it sounded like. Of those sixty-one years, I have been gainfully employed for forty-two years.  I've done a lot of different things, ranging from soda jerk to lane sweeper, insurance investigator, librarian, retail clerk, cashier, newspaper journalist, copy editor, bookkeeper, transcriptionist, chicken farmer, administrative assistant, resume developer, qualitative chemist, inventory specialist, minister, tutor, bookseller, budget developer, foundation and grant administrator and research investigator. Those are just the ones that come to mind at the moment.
Today, finding a shoe that fits is far more difficult than I would have expected.
The job listings I find on the web sites for employment agencies include many things I have never heard of.
The industries represented are banking, real estate, investing, internet technicians, technical designers, long haul drivers (semi trailers) riggers, fellers, mechanics, automotive specialists, auto sales, account technicians, construction workers and administrators and on and on. Seems that available jobs run from industrial to medical and pharmaceutical to technical.
Some of them are so bogus you really have to be careful:

9. IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT...

I think I mentioned earlier in a post, something about not affirming the negative situation. I believe that strongly. Why is this post called 'It Was a Dark and Stormy Night?'
I think the cliche represents something we tend to fear but that really has no power to hurt us.
The toughest part of following through on not affirming the negative is when a collection agent calls. I have not fully figured out how to avoid telling them about no income, no job, no place of my own to live in and all that happy happy joy joy stuff. They want to know when they will get money.
That's what I want to know also! When will I get money?
Believe me when I say I want to pay off all my debts! I do not want to skate out from under them. I believe it is important to take care of these responsibilities. Survival comes first though!
Priorities have to be shelter, food, gasoline, auto insurance, auto maintenance, and cell phone. Without taking care of those basic responsibilities first, the other stuff will remain impossible to manage.
So I am working on other ways to deal with those phone calls.
Here are a couple of techniques I am working on:
Taking charge of the conversation thusly:
"What was that? Who did you say you are with? uh huh. Well, I can empathize with you. I once had a telemarketers' job and I know how very dreadful that can be. We all have to do whatever we can to put food on the table. So that's exactly what I'm trying to do too. As you look for a position so you can get out of that terrible job of yours, I'm looking for a job too. I have vast experience, but well, you know how it goes sometimes. Just looking for the right one to come along can take some time. So I'll call you as soon as I can, once I get a new position and can start paying my bills off. Thanks for calling. Good luck to you and have a nice day." CLICK
I did not let them get a word in edgewise after finding out who they are. I did not affirm anything negative. Most times they are not looking for a job because they are well-paid and actually like what they do. But since I have taken control of the conversation, they really do not have a chance to do their deed. And the call is recorded and I come off sounding as concerned and interested in paying as possible without being cajoled into one of their 'plans to help me' which means making me commit to oh, say $325 a month at 12% instead of $162 per month at 30%. They always have the oddest idea of what help means. 
Another way is to avoid them by not admitting to being me. But that is dishonest and I will not do that. I have, but no more.
Once I identify them, I save their number with a special quiet ring tone so I just do not answer. That means I have a lot of voice mail to deal with, but that takes less personal energy than conversing. This does not always work because certain companies use assorted numbers to make those calls.
When income is currently non-existent, there is no way you can commit to any amount per month, and if you do, that will just create some pretty horrific problems with your bank. If you are like me, you will want to maintain a good relationship with your bank and even obtain a personal banker with whom you can consult and share information and obtain needed specials as they come along.
Mine will change the type of accounts I have as needed to maintain a fee-free account structure regardless of my minimum balance, even if it is only ten dollars or so. 
Secondarily, you might actually engage a collector in a personal conversation, laying it on the line, and in so doing, find out that they are actually undergoing the same thing, or have just done so. This has happened twice: the result being that the caller and I promised to pray for each other. You really have to have a feel for this, and use your gut instincts to gauge the appropriateness of this with a specific caller.
It would go something like this:
"Yes, I understand I am in arrears. I apologize for that. But let me ask you this: Have you ever been unemployed? Were you ever in a position where you were foreclosed on and became jobless, divorced and ...(fill in the blank)?"
"Mmmm, oh yes, that is dreadful. and you have little kids too? Oh bless you. Well, at least you have a job now. I'm still looking. Trust me though. As soon as I am able, I will begin making payments again because I really look forward to paying this off. Hope things continue to look up for you. Good bye." CLICK
Again you have assumed most of the control, but have engaged the caller in empathy and allowed them the opportunity to be human.
I have fallen to a reactionary level of resentment and fear of bill collectors and it is difficult to overcome that. They are only people, not demons. They have a hideous job to do, whether they like it or not, and it certainly isn't giving them any positive karma!
Even though the energy passing through the phone line is negative-feeling, and it can often create nightmares and changes in blood pressure and feelings of pain or nausea in your mid-section, you can block that.
Make a concerted effort to perform some or all of the following techniques:
Make a regular habit of spiritually cleansing yourself of negativity (see side bar articles)
Engage your spiritual senses with visualization (see side bar)
Bless your phone and mail box and front door (again with the side bars)
Remember that the callers, whatever their purpose, are actually created by Great Spirit too and are, in their true identity, good, honest, loving and perfect individuals, even if they appear to be mean and nasty. Bless them. Even if you don't want to. Bless them anyway.
Give gratitude each day for all the blessings you have ever received. Make lists.
This is a part of the process we need to put into practice in order to crawl out of the cracks we have slipped into.
I remember the story of the evil farmer who decided to get rid of his donkey that he felt did not do enough work. He threw the donkey down a well. Then set out to bury the donkey. He threw down shovels full of dirt to bury the donkey alive in the well. With each bunch of dirt that fell on it , the donkey shook it off and stepped on the dirt. As the dirt accumulated, the donkey rose higher and higher in the well until he was able to step out onto the surface again. He shook himself off one final time, covering the farmer with the dirt, snorted (as only donkeys can do) and walked off down the road to freedom and a new life.
I think the donkey made an ass of the farmer.

8. SOMETHING I'M GOOD AT

Came to a realization this morning.
Remember, yesterday I spent a bunch of time talking to different agencies and scanning websites for potential recourse to these problems of unemployment and no income and my job hunting issues?
Well, what I realized is that I'm really, really good at slipping through the cracks! I don't even qualify to be a statistic as statistics are compiled in this country.
1. I couldn't get unemployment compensation before because they say I "voluntarily quit my Tennessee job." From my POV, it was not voluntary. I had to leave since I had no place to live. That is definitely not voluntary.
Now I cannot get UC because I have not worked six consecutive months in one position. Well, I sure wanted to do so! So there are two cracks I stumbled into.

Badoompum.
Depicted here is a typical crack in masonry to illustrate my point. These cracks diminish the stability of any structure and allow an infiltration of all sorts of things you do not want to welcome into your life. For instance: cold air, bugs, vermin, and moisture. In this case it is metaphorical and I refer of course to falling between eligibility standards to receive the aid from organizations I have paid into for my entire working life.<br />
2. I was not able to get an EBT card  (Food Stamps) before since the telemarketer job did not report income and did not issue pay stubs so I could not prove that I was only making $8 x 4 days per week x 4 hr shifts per day = $128 per week maximum, minus the hours when everyone or select staff were sent home early or asked not to come in at all because production was slow.
3. I tried the Meals on Wheels program. The only wheels involved are one's own. You have to go to an old folks' home to get your plate. The value of the food was less than the value of gas it took me to get there. And frankly, although they mean well, I'm not ready for overcooked green beans and jello as a steady diet.
4. I'm exploring this further, but it seems as though my disability does not really qualify me for anything since it is an intermittent problem and not a 24/7 situation.
5. Thirty-five years married to a disabled and PTSD disturbed vet does not count for anything if he divorces you and replaces you with a younger model.
Five cracks makes for a pretty bumpy ride.
Badoombum
Now I need five positive ideas to overcome these difficulties.
A. I know that everything is in Divine and Perfect Order. That I do not see and experience this now is what needs to be healed.
B. I know that Creation... the Universe... is infinite and is filled with possibilities.
C. I know that the adamantine particles of which the Universe is made are spiritual, infinite, ever appearing and plastic or moldable into whatever is needed.
D. I know that Creator, Great Spirit, God is good: infinite, omnipresent, omniscient and all-powerful being who is infinite Love and who cares for each particle of creation equally.
E. I know that, as God's creation, I am able to avail myself of the abundance of this magnificence.
Well, there are five counter facts.
And here is a bonus fact for today:
F. I know that I will be able to utilize my strengths in a manner that will allow me to help others and that will bring me a fair income.

Upcoming: Bill Collectors; Today's Job Market; Job Applications; Personal Stewardship; Attitude and Motivation; and more

7. Discovering Some Potential

From way back in the days during the marriage from which I am now freed, we once had enough money from an inheritance to actually be invested. Many poorly informed decisions decreased its value over time. Nevertheless, we had a lovely investment counselor at the bank who had become someone to share personal stories with and laugh together over family quirks. It has never become the type of friendship that means going out for coffee and muffins or any other type of socializing, yet, I value her and stopped in to see her one day last week.
We caught up with much of the pertinent chapters in our respective stories,and in so doing, she confided that her husband had endured several layoffs in recent years.
He had obtained significant help from an agency called

6. The Perfect Job --- Not

And so, I did take that library job at that big school. It really could have been perfect for me.
But it wasn't.
Turns out it was just the wrong fit.
I worked my way through Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa back in the early seventies and enjoyed it thoroughly. In fact, it was one of the high points of my four years there.
Down through the years, I was often told that I looked like a librarian, that or a sixth grade teacher.  I guess it's my bearing or something. I remember in a junior high function we did a 'night out' in the 'Old West' and I was chosen to be the 'dance hall proprietor' supposedly modeled after Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke. Well, although I can blame my mother since she was in charge of my clothes as a kid, I wound up looking like the school marm. Nothing sexy or provocative about

5. Day By Day, the Hits Just Keep Coming

The ongoing  and seeming never-ending mess with trying to avoid the foreclosure, trying to provide everything needed for a short sale, struggling with day to day expenses, closing the credit cards, trying to keep minimum payments current, taking care of the dogs, with continually failing health, by golly I was having just a wonderful time in Nashville!
The silver linings in all of this consist of the following:
My Tennessee girlfriend and I reconciled our friendship, and I was blessed to make friends with the two kindest and most thoughtful gentlemen I have ever known. In keeping with my practice of not naming names in this journal,  I do hope that they will recognize themselves in this and know how very deeply I am grateful to them and value their friendships. Their support and hard work in helping me get ready to vacate my house will always be one of my heart's finest of treasures.
And so, as previously mentioned, the foreclosure department at the bank decided that the short sale department and their processing of the offer was simply holding them up and they over-rode all of that hard work

4. NOT SURE WHERE THE BOTTOM IS

The abject heartache, the depression that moved in and settled over my consciousness, the self condemnation together were enough to make me consider takng a long walk into the lake, and since I never learned to swim, I felt this would be an effective way to end all of these ongoing troubles.

At one point, I woke up, not knowing where I was. My tongue was throbbing in pain. I had nearly bitten off the end of it. It was blackened and I could barely speak. I found I had emptied my bladder all over myself. Worse than that, I knew

3. The Real Estate Agent Visits

Remember how the smarmy auctioneer told me that this realtor friend of his specialized in short sales?
Well, actually, this realtor had HEARD of short sales but had never done them. But he knew a guy...
So after getting rid of this pushy fellow

2. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

Frankly, although I love writing, I admit that I do not enjoy drawing attention to myself, but only to what I write. So writing this particular blog is a special challenge for me, because I believe that without full disclosure and transparency, this would not be worth writing at all.
So what did happen next? You know, after the lawyer-free divorce?
First thing I did was go out and buy several pairs of very high heeled shoes.

1. Recently, I received this advice:

My girlfriend in Tennessee convinced me that there are people who would be interested in reading about the challenges I have been facing after finally 'coming of age.'
These current challenges actually began about seven years ago.
I had recently recovered about as much as the neurologists said I would, from having had neurosurgery to remove something almost the size of a tennis ball from directly behind the center of my forehead.
Christmas was approaching, and I really was not in any frame of mind to 'do it up' as we had in years past. I was actually trying to concentrate on my one-woman business of transcribing reports for a chiropractor and my part-time job at the local bookstore. A big celebration was not on my radar, and shopping was not going to happen since so much was still due on the hospital bills.
One December day around lunchtime, I was just finishing my tuna and peanut butter sandwich, noticing that toast crumbs were snowing down into my keyboard as I multi-tasked my way through a patient's insurance report, when my husband marched into my home office and sat.
"This is just not working out and I want a divorce. No lawyers, no argument, let's just do it as soon as possible," he commanded.

As best as I can recall, my sarcastic self rose up in a futile attempt at self-protection.